creamy_martian

I had a good day yesterday with Amy's family.

Had a good Thanksgiving, but it was seasoned by family angst and by family angst I mean I'm not calling until December so they can't piss on my holiday parade (reading facebook updates make me thing I'm gonna need a huge fucking umbrella when I get around to it so /procrastinates. Oh and fat slob angst. Fun!)

Yesterday, we went to this Christmas village thing. 'twas awesome. Rode a coal powered train (coal stinks D:). Amy was going to buy one of my Christmas presents there, only I accidentally interrupted :(... so I have to pay for it, lol.

Trillian=still cute. She has a nylon cat thing to play with that had a fishy attached. She tore the fishy off and is now goofing around with it. Earlier, she found a shoe box and was going fuck yeah a box. Though, right now she's trying to break into my dresser to get to my jeans? Idk. Kittens are strange, energetic creatures.

I bought a camera off of Amy. Fuck yeah, a camera not held together by duct tape (it's how I got it, again bought off of Amy). Most technology that isn't laptop shaped I wouldn't even bother with if Amy wasn't going "oo an upgrade :D" like my PDA and a camera.

Writing on RPB and reminding myself fucking constantly that first drafts are allowed to be crap because OMG -flails miserably- it's so craptastic :( I'm at 60 odd pages and it is 2/3, maybe, through the plot? Idek, yet. I'm still trying to figure things out. I found a short-cut, plotwise, but then I realized I had sub-plot scenes to fill in and groundwork to start laying for RPB2. I'm not sure if I should wait for the second draft to be finished before I send it to people or if I should be like HALP ME PLZ, PEOPLE. I need an editor :(

I am now writing out a basic outline of shit to happen next. Here is hoping I don't lose steam because of it.

Phrases I'm constantly saying: "fuck yeah, a [thing]" and "Hot damn." Idk. I said "awesome sauce", probably due to shipwreck_light to the mail guy and he was like "lol I haven't heard that in a while."

If anybody has made it this far through the post, stylistically if something is written in first person, past tense, is it ok to use present tense for something that's still true?

I hate coffee. Seriously. I can only forgive coffee's existance because I love the smell of the beans and even then it's grudging because it's gross coffeeness and teases me with the mmmm smell.

But then I had a headache today and needed caffeine so I bought a Starbucks Frappucino from a vending machine. It was actually not gross.

However, I am rather upset with my work computer right now. It keeps freaking the fuck out when I hit capslock to capitolize letters. ...and it just freaks right out when I do other stuff in Word. Haaaate. I hope we get upgraded computers soon.

After seeing the New Moon opening records:

Thing that I hope will happen now that people see that HOLY SHIT women and teenage girls actually have a market and that market is willing to spend money on movies: they will make movies that aren't stupid ass ~dramas~ or romantic comedies to appeal to women.

What will actually happen: A flood of fucking ridiculous movies that appeal to the 12-16 crowd and reinforce dangerous gender roles and make girls think that abuse is sexy.

The amusing/cute thing about sleeping with Trill is that I can wake up every morning going "awwww the cat still wants to be a hat." The slightly less cute part is when she doesn't like me waking up. Well, that's not quite right. She likes me waking up because I can scratch her ears and rub her belly and that's cute. She's super ungraceful when you rub her belly. I'll pet her and then thunk... she fell off of my bed!

But, it's not me waking up she doesn't like, it's: she doesn't like me waking up and then getting out of bed. So I start the morning with the cat making a disgruntled sound, then kinda batting at my head like lay back down human! I was sleepin' there!

...she makes the cutest little chirping sounds, though, omg.

I finally managed to get past the scene-set I needed to get past for RPB, now I'm just having problems getting the rest of the plot to connect because there's a thread of plot between the first subplot but I have to make it yank out into a real plot. I can't believe that a lot of people doing NaNo are like :D I'm at 30/40K and I'm like it's taken me six months to get that far :(

Oh fuck them. I've been watching the stupid "blonds have more fun" marathon and it's a) a fucking ridiculous concept, b) revealed the Poor Dead White Woman bias, and c)WHARGARBLE at the omg~ she's making it up. FUCK THEM FUCK THEM WITH A RUSTY CACTUS.

Also, they whipped out "10% of rape accusations are false" and Idk where they got that number.

Oh, and I really, really hate the stupid as fuck ~messages~ they put into the show, which is ridic and subtle as a brick wall. Like the episode earlier today about unplugging someone in a persistent vegetative state.

I repeat: rusty cactus.

because I came to a realization.

They aren't vampires! They are blood sucking Gargoyles! C'mon: the marbleyness, the sparkle. It's stone work! It's moving, walking, talking stone work!

rpb b2 may have sparkling gargoyles now.

this is another short post.

Oh lol. Saw New Moon, didn't LOL lots, but a lot of nose snorts. Got reminded of one of my ideas from before and I think I'm gonna put it into book 2 of RPB :D ...which, again, means I need to finish book 1. Bugger.

Good parts of New Moon:
Jackson Rathbone: Amy said she kept thinking "I've seen you in a dress!", I kept thinking, "I've seen you in a dress and you have a phenomenal ass." Also, he when voting on whether or not Bella should become a vampire~ he voted yes because "I'd like to not want to kill you."
Taylor Lautner: is allergic to shirts
Edward: is not there. Also, attempts to commit suicide by sparkle
Bella: Actually has a personality!
Eye candy: ...lots of it. rawr.

Bad parts of New Moon
It was New Moon.
Not enough Edward, which meant no OMG HE'S SPARKLING.

The question after watching the movie is how did I go into the movie expecting lolarity and come out sorta maybe Team Jacob =x

I had a dream last night. I really doubt that dreams tell the future, though if they do then I'm gonna have fun at the Christmas party at work?

So, it started with a Secret Santa party. It was like I'd brought Diane to a family party or something. Idk. She was there just for the party? Idk. There were a lot of lawyers there and I knew all of them. There was one guy I was like not so secretly in love with? But then it was like lol not telling~

There was an evil lawyer/politician, but I don't remember what he did. It was boring and political. But I totes defeated evil lawyer and um the end was me going "yeah, I totally love this Good Lawyer Dude." And the good lawyer dude was like "I totally love you too" and I was yay! then I woke up.

The interesting: two dude kisses in as many episodes. They were not attractive dudes but it was nice.

the bad: women in refrigerators.

this is a short post.

Context: Cassidy is finally starting to get Joshua's body free, which will close part one of the plotline. However, she finds his body- alive- but possessed by someone else.

"…Did you mess with me, then, too?"
"Only on your request." It took me a moment to put it all together.
I sighed, loudly, "Gremory. Nice to see you again."
He grinned at me. "You're… old."
"It's called adult-hood," I told him and launched over a huge knot of spells that would summon a Lovecraftian horror to hold me until the source of the spells arrived.
"Luckily, I rarely have to face that," he observed.

so I have a kitten who wants to grow up to be a hat. Or a head hugger. I went to bed last night hoping that Trill wouldn't get the idea to nom on my brains because she was cuddling my head, which was cute but it felt like she was keeping them warm for the nomming.

there is a paper I'm not sure when it is due

and um another paper that I'm flailing about because I need to find a third work of art so I can fill out the paper in world civ.

we talked about ~Twilight~ in world civ and my teacher was like yeah, the writing's bad but it's a good story! and I think I had a ...... look because I could feel my eyebrow going "hi hair line, it's nice to meet you. Long time no see, same time next week?" or tomorrow =x because I'm going to be seeing New Moon. i'm oddly excited about it. we talked comic books and film on Tuesday. that was awesome. Leslie and I bickered about the literallness of the sparkle passage in Twilight. Idk, Idk. But I hope to die of lol tomorrow!

does anybody know a piece of art, preferably European, from between the dates of 1850-1900 that portrays a woman of African descent? Because I need it for my paper. I have Cordier's "African Venus" and Manet's "Olympia", but I need that last one to round out my thesis. Preferably a fat African woman or a sexy one (my thesis is on the power of sex that was denied African women and that inundated them. I have a book that supports my thesis, but LCC doesn't have it, GoogleBooks doesn't have most of it that actually supports my thesis, and MSU has it checked out. Bastards.)

I am really, really bloody annoyed and upset with Doloras right now. She and Evelyn were trying to bully me into going to get the h1n1 vax but I wasn't willing to take the shot from someone who needed it and I wasn't officially eligible because I don't have a preexisting condition.

I hate being bullied, even if it's for my own good (see: going to Urgent Care when I was sick a couple weeks ago. Though, it had only been three days and the doctor told me what I already knew- wait a week of not getting better or if I develop a fever, btw it was probably viral. I'm actually still really annoyed by that visit because it cost me $80 for jackshit. And next time I get "sick" I'm not going to the doctor until it has 10 days).

Well, apparently they had very few people there, so whatever. Then on the "pre-existing conditions" part she said "Yes you do, you're overweight." And I'm stuck going. Excuse me. My being overweight puts me at no additional risk of getting h1n1 or dying of it. If I had high blood pressure or asthma or or or. But I don't. Then she kinda covered it by "...lol Diane. She um gets sick a lot."

Whatever.

anyways, I got the vax and I got it from a kinda sexy guy who was in his thirties or so but already had gray at the temples and I was like "...I'd let you poke me any time -winkwinknudgenudge-" only you know, I didn't say that.

Was actually going to be the title of a post I made yesterday, so it was thoroughly disregarded. I woke up yesterday when my alarm went off and thought very firmly: "Today is Friday. I do not work on Friday. I can roll over and go back to sleep. Wait. Yesterday was not Thursday. Today must be Thursday. No..." but by then, I'd turned off my second alarm and I was snoozing until I realized SHIT TODAY IS TUESDAY and flew through all of the morning stuff.

Anyways, for the last couple of days Trill has been sleeping on my head. Yesterday, when I woke up during the arguing by myself, I rolled over and had a kitten purring on the back of my neck/shoulders. This morning. I had a Trillian curled around my face with her head on my cheek. d'awww.

RPB now has a mental sequel. I should probably finish book one of RPB, first, though.

Argh. I am trying so hard not to freak out right now, but I just realized that I have a lot of credits at LCC and that 21 of my attempted 61 hours won't transfer. And by "won't transfer" I mean I 1.5 or 1.0-ed 5 classes. -sigh- I know that if I work my ass off this semester, I'm going to at absolute minimum 2.5 my world lit class (which is where I'm the lowest) and I can maybe even bring that up to a 3.0. Theoretically, that should drag my... disappointingly low GPA up.

But I'm scared. I'm taking Geology, Mythology, and Philosophy next semester. I've taken Geo and 1.5ed it, but I'm taking it with Julia so it shouldn't be a big deal. I hope. -sigh-

Fuck yeah, Scans_daily.

It's back~ and it's on Dreamwidth.

I think I just doubled my music and with the most random crap. Paramore and Ani DiFranco and Lady Gaga and the Vampire Diaries Eps 1-3 soundtrack (Hey, it has some good music -looks sheepish-).

I suppose I'll find out what I like and do an epic upload post sooner or later. I just realized that I have a fuckload of female vocalists in my iTunes, which is pretty nifty. The epic upload post will also demonstrate the horrid taste in music I have, but I don't care.

I started really working on RPB again instead of working on N10. So yay.

Idk why I felt the need to update after posting twice today already.

I have two cats sleeping on me, but they are both carefully not looking at one another. Before, it was Trillian sleeping on my feet and Tigger on my chest, but now I have Trillian on my right hip/leg snoozing. She'd be snoring if she was the snoring type. Tigger owns my left arm so much I can hardly move it if I don't want to dislodge her. And seeing as they are peacefully sharing me and not glowering, hissing, or growling I consider the position to be a success.

...well I did until Tigger farted and Trillian wandered closer to my feet.

I was going to post a long, tl;dr, nobody wants to read about the interactions between submissive, masochist, and kink but a) it would be way too intimate, b) people who care, know, and c) Well, my brain took a wrong turn and now I will post about fat. Because you know, my sex life is too personal but my fat ass is public property.

Fat? Isn't a horrible insult anymore to me. I never realized the ~power~ of reclaiming words until Amy and I were at the drag show and there was this girl- obnoxious, drunk out of her mind, and bragging about the amount of money her daddy was spending on her wedding. We mumbled back and forth about her- drunk girl, obnoxiously "drunk rich girl" is what I'd mumbled and Amy heard this next part but I didn't- she mumbled to her friends about "that fatty behind us" or something. Amy shushed me after that and told me the next day why she had.

It didn't hurt. At all. It made me laugh because if you look at me it's obvious. If the meanest thing you can think to say about me is an observation on the size of my ass, feel free. I've got a fat ass, I've got abundant fat rolls, I'm even a virgin- and part of that is due to lack of opportunity. I've got a weirdly shaped head, I don't shave my arm pits and I'm iffy about my legs so if the worst thing you can say is an observation about my appearance? I'm doing pretty fucking well.

People who are ~fat positive~ but as soon as someone accuses a person of being fat- and it's always an accusation, people never just state oh btw, so and so is kinda fat, yah? okay then let's go on with the rest of our lives- but to automatically automatically jump in to defend with: "they're not fat, they're beautiful" or "oh, that's not fat, that's just pregnancy weight" you can fuck off, okay? Because I can be fat and beautiful. I can, hypothetically, be fat and pregnant or fat after pregnancy and you know what else? It is just fucking fine if I am fat, pregnant-fat (well okay, not so fine about that atm lol) and beautiful.

Just got back from a play party. Am still all fuzzy and warm and happy. Idk why I'm updating because I'm going sleeeeep? I like sleeep. Sleep is nice. My bed is nice. Kinda small though. Kitten, I have a kitten around here. She's kinda small, too, but I left the doors open so the grown up cats may have eaten her :(... basically stream of conciousness

Had fun though. We srsly need new top blood in the group. Preferably a nice, single sadist who has a thing for fat girls (custom made for me, plz?). Way too many people going mm~ to our few Doms. Um. Found out about Drama from the group. That was fun trying to muddle through when my brain was going stars and sparkles.

Um. Forgot to eat food :(

But was fun. My screen is going fuzzy and I keep going back to fiz typos so I think it's time for bed. Probably won't bother with a real write up tomorrow because whatever, ya know.

I just went to check a major part of my World Lit grade because I'm not getting any grades on it and I'm flailing and there was an option to submit more than one document and Idk, Idek. I can't fail this class.